Stay at Home Superhero

It has been mentioned before that working part time is dangerously fabulous. Only going into Crazytown 2 days a week allows for our heroine to soak up the sun from her new orange couch and to keep a safe distance via internet and email during the rest of the week. Aside from daytime TV being as awful as it is reputed to be, the commercials reveal that the Amazing One-Legged Girl is in no way their intended audience. From what she can discern they are directed towards one of three categories of people: Mothers with fresh babies (diapers, Gerber, Pajama Jeans); the elderly (dentures, Rascal Scooters, the risks of reusable catheters, Pajama Jeans); the un- or underemployed (medical billing certificates, ITT Tech, Pajama Jeans).

Of these three groups, her current situation freakishly most resembles that of the elderly (not in teeth or in need of help in going to the bathroom), but in her high fashion wheel chair, her super peppy home care nurse that visits once a week, and her need for trendy lounge wear.

The often aired commercial that causes the Amazing One-Legged Girl to laugh heartily at fate goes like this "It's your life, live it well, Texas Orthopedic Hospital." Sweet sweet irony. Probably one of the reasons so many people are stuck at home with the TV on during the day... go ahead rub it in by advertising frequently during the day. Remind us that your infection ridden hospital is why her leg exploded in the first place and further reason for the introduction to Franklin the Frame.

Another exciting aspect about being a home-bound hero is her new garden. Her passion for delicious food, undoubtedly increases demand for fresh herbs, especially the ever-popular cilantro, basil, and rosemary. The logical conclusion is to attempt to cultivate her own, along with two intrepid tomatoes. It should be noted that last year's attempt at farmer-ism started much much later in the season and resulted shriveled sun-stroked twigs.

She is hoping for more luscious longterm results this year.