Friday, April 29, 2011

It's 3am in Kentucky

A quick recap of our heroine's Easter adventures in the land of parades, uniforms, and schedules. Her brother returned as scheduled along with 300 other soldiers completing a a year of deployment. The excitement in the room prior to their arrival was certainly palpable, full of young wives spruced up for the homecoming, small children and fresh babies toddling around confused but excitedly holding signs, and other family members adjusting cameras in anticipation.
Everyone eagerly awaited the plane to finally land and for them to share 15 mins with their soldier, before he/she would have to return for debriefing & to begin the "reintegration" process.


And once he was officially allowed to spend the day with with his lovely wife & child, gorgeous sister and doting family...the family initiated a reintegration training of their own..at Denny's


And the mall.



God Bless America.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Franklin Joins the Army

Our heroine spent Easter weekend on an adventure of grand proportions on the border of . Kentucky and Tennessee. In rainy & tornado-prone
Ft. Campbell, home of the 101st Airborne. There she experienced the wonders of sharing a hotel room with two malodorous teenagers (not by choice), the majesty of military life, and the pleasure of playing with her gorgeous 10 month old niece.
Most importantly, she and Franklin welcomed home her brother from a year in Afghanistan.
at 3am

Here are some photos to set the mood.
more to come



Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Other people with Cages on their legs




As isolating as this experience can feel, our heroine is neither the first nor the last person to do battle with a broken limb and an Ilizarov.

Here are some blogs by other folks:



Darren G in the UK with a apparatus on his femur in 2009 (he named his frame Metal Mickey, Brits, so odd)







Don't Take Candy From Cripples

The bunny visitation is around the corner, as such, fun colored candy is everywhere, available in every shade of inviting pastel.

Our heroine was recently informed that she will not be receiving a formal gift basket ... apparently she is too old for candy. Naturally she was devastated, knowing that the Mysterious Bearded Man with whom our heroine resides will be travelling to the Steel City, where he will undoubtedly devour all the candy bestowed on him by his loving family, including the 1 lb solid chocolate egg that is an admirable annual tradition (flowers on top are edible).

As if having a giant cage on her leg wasn't enough, now she is forced to cope with the epic loss of her 2nd most treasured annual candy binge (ranking after Halloween, before Valentines day). But once more the Amazing-One Legged Girl triumphs in the face of adversity,
heading straight to her local Walgreen's and stocking up on all her favorites to share with her siblings (who will also feel the effects of this tragedy). While there she purposely ignored those malted milk balls that she has secretly hated for years. She will revive what once was a weekly Friday ritual growing up...the sacred candy cup. A weekly dose of a hodgepodge of sweetness.

Take that easter bunny.
As any chef would, our heroine needed to test her candy combo prior to sharing with her siblings.
In her attempt to stealthily open the bag of pastel colored-peanut M&Ms...an explosion occurred, candy went everywhere, forcing her to eat far more M&Ms than initially intended, for safety sake.

Add this to the list of sacrifices our heroine makes for the ones she loves. A small example of her overwhelmingly benevolent nature.


Monday, April 18, 2011

Tomatoes & Cats

Grand news fans: Our heroine is NOT a killer of all things green, no no, in fact, it turns out that she is both a superhero and an earth mother, fostering earth's bounty from the meager alley on the side of her house.

And yes, that non recycled dowel rod was made in Haerbin, China, potentially one of the least environmentally friendly places on the planet. Freakishly enough, the Amazing One-Legged Girl spent 5 days in Haerbin. 72 hours of travel, 5 days of vacation, re-reading Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince & getting gawked at by Chinese and Russians alike. But this is not a China blog. dear God no.

This is about adventure...adventures that involve snow balls. What are snow balls you ask? they are not snow cones nor shaved ice nor are they of the Italian persuasion. THEY are THE method by which all classy Southerners survive the summer. Stand in line let the sweat roll down your belly & brow and then savor sweet sweet processed goodness.

Ice ground to the consistency of snow (a true good Southerner would not know that), covered in any range & combo of flavors from dill pickle to wedding cake to cherry to tiger's blood. you can get them stuffed (meaning with ice cream in the middle) or with condensed milk on top. God Bless. By far the best manifestations of these heaven-sent creations in the Houston area are found less than a mile from our heroine's hide out.


And should you EVER see a handicapped person in line for snow balls, the only honorable and good American thing to do would be to let them cut to the front of the line...or the terrorists win.

This photo features the Amazing One-Legged Girl's neighbor, Ashley the cat. He (yes "he" in the Gone with the Wind sense of the name) seems to think that her porch is an ideal place to nap, hunt birds, and be all together squirrelly.

So far, no urine has been found.
.






Sunday, April 17, 2011

At least


The Amazing One-Legged Girl has lately taken to musing on the very ho-hum phrase "well at least I have my health." When wheeling past someone picking up trash on the side of the road or laying concrete in 87% humidity at 1pm in Texas, she has thought, "well my leg is dramatically broken, which sucks, but at least I am not expected to do that."
It recently came to her attention that other people are pulling the exact same number on her. A "flip flop." That kindly janitor might be thinking, "that looks horribly inconvenient, at least I have my health."

oh how the tables are turned.

Does it feel good to be the lowest rung by which people compare their lives? no, not for anyone.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Take THAT pollen

Admittedly it has been a long while since the last reports of our heroine's activities. Notably, she has fallen into some MAJOR classic literature kick, spending hours re-reading Pride & Prejudice (then watching the 5 hour BBC special with Colin Firth, of course) and miring through the whining of Wuthering Heights, ick, and enjoying the fabulous new screen version of Jane Eyre. And of course revisiting the narrative magic of Paul Giamatti and Laura Linney in the wondrous HBO mini-series John Adams.

God Bless America.

Aside from this her crusades have come in the ultra-boring forms of work. She is spending 2 days inside the city limits of Crazytown, dodging the insane requests and heaving through piles of "to dos," + still working 10 hours from home. Aside from that she has begun working with
a fabulous group of folks on a summer project, one they started last summer and worked hard, but enjoyed very much....We are still in the "working hard" part of this year.

She is still rocking PT multiple times a week, doing mini squats, balancing on wobbly boards and even bouncing on a trampoline for a few minutes. Needless to say, there is much more going on these days than before, almost so much that it has begun to feel an inkling like her normal life.

but not driving is debilitating
and her leg is as ugly as ever, exciting ample anxiety about what the future holds. Will she walk like a zombie for the rest of her life?

Will her leg permanently resemble swollen Swiss cheese? Only time will tell. Time that seems to be ticking away all too slowly.

Frankly even SHE is getting sick of saying the same things over and over again. Uttering "my leg hurts" or " I'm stuck" or "Would you mind giving me a ride to _____?" blah blah blah. It's even getting old for her ears. The real saints in this story are the people who calmly listen, help, and comfort her when her superhero shell can't keep the anxiety under control.
Her adventures this past month have also led her closer to God? Well maybe, closer to a gentleman who spends all his time talking about God anyway. A man who at the very least, dons a fabulous hat and fervently attempts to revive the "Shepherd" look with a curly staff.


Fighting the pollen daily and dreading the imminent Gulf Coast summer, she and Walter the wheelchair, enjoy spending Wednesdays roaming around the city in a red convertible, searching for cheap furniture for the new apartment.

Tan pending.